Where have you been?

Yesterday evening I was kidnapped (on Good Friday no less,) and force fed diet-coke for energy and authentic guacamole with plain chips, and dragged to off by a fat guy in a little coat and a crazy woman driver and made to purchase a new computer tower.

Despite research into this, despite calls to the manufacture and a local fix-it guy, I am feeling that I got snookered into spending more than I wanted. While my crazy kidnappers were off looking at state-of-the-art vacuum cleaners with which to suction their hair into modern day styles, I was left alone with the sales person who knows way more than I do about electronics.

Me: I need lots of memory. My kids want to play games. I want Norton and Microsoft Office. and I need to transfer data from my old computer (my mother board was done for...off on the mother ship, I guess but that data was safe, I'd been told.)

Him: Do you need a monitor? A laptop or a desktop? All of the computers come with a free trial of Office, and your going to want us to configure your computer for you for the spy ware and anti-virus. How many gigs of memory did your old computer has? This fine $900 dollar model here has more memory than you can ever use in your life time. Buy it here and we will negate the sales tax. Just so you know I don't make a commission from this, but you can leave me a tip if you want.

Me: What's a gig?

When my kidnappers were done with restyling their hair into beautiful froo-froo do's they returned, pointed at a computer and said "Get that one, we want to listen to 80's music!"

They took me by the arms and dragged me away in search of eighties hip-hop super funky bunch and midnight running Dexie dudes...

So I have "4600+ AMD Athlon 64X2 Dual Core Processor, 2048 MB memory, 320GB hard drive, and a NVIDIA GeForce 6150 graphics."

I don't have Office, and I don't have Norton. Anyone heard of TrendMicro Antivirus?




  1. Anonymous9:38 PM

    Hey, what's wrong with Fat Guy in a little coat song from Tommy Boy especially when you can witness it in person?

    Your computer stinks. I'll take it off your hands. Thats what friends are for.

  2. I love you too. I love you so much, we could trade...but I get all the goodies you have on yours...photo shop and macafee...

  3. Anonymous1:58 AM

    To answer your final question: NOPE. However, I can't seem to get the word 'gig' to mean anything other than a date a band has set to play! Hope all goes well!

  4. I am so computer illiterate it isn't even funny...

  5. Anonymous9:52 AM

    I think you are my new hero for knowing the name of that one music group when the other kidnapper didn't. she knows too much and I feel musically inferior to her on a routine basis, have you SEEN her 80's music collection? my eyes are burning.

    so how are you liking the new tower? is it working ok for you? some guy named kai wanted me to ask you that.

  6. Dh says that TrendMicro Antivirus is pretty good. A gig is a gigabyte. gig·a·byte (gĭg'ə-bīt', jĭg'-) Pronunciation Key
    A unit of computer memory or data storage capacity equal to 1,024 megabytes (230 bytes).
    One billion bytes.
    Meaning you have two gigs of memory on your new system. WOW thats a lot of memory. Dual Core is good, although we are snobs here and prefer Intel over AMD. We just upgraded our computer, and are pretty happy with it. Hopefully you will be able to get Office soon. At least you are back online!

  7. Heffalump can keep her Intel, your processor and hardware package is freakin' awesome!!! I'm drooling just thinking about it. You should enjoy what you have for years to come.

    I've never heard of TrendMicro. If you're looking for a good free anti-virus after TrendMicro expires, try AVG anti-virus (just type that in to Google). It's probably the best free thing out there, and it does pretty good.

  8. Good luck figuring out what you want for the computer! I wish I was a computer genius and could just fix my computer when it acts up. :)

  9. So Coooool! Great graphics card & I hear the dual core is the way to go theses days.

    You know of course that all techno stuff coming off the assembly line right now was out of date 12 to 18 months ago! We live in the super fast age, which is not fast enough nor does it give us any more time.

  10. Congrats on the new computer! It sounds like you had a very interesting evening.


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