Dapoppins

Everyone Has Natural Gifts

Something happened in my forties.

I settled into my bones.

I stopped trying to be someone else.

I started to lay a hold of who I was meant to be.

I released shame, regret, fear and apathy.

Be Yourself

It seems to me that finding and accepting your gifts is a spiritual thing. Some of us might feel like we have different gifts at different times of your lives. Some of us might only have one thing we are really "gifted" with. I don't think it matters.

The value isn't in what your gifts are or when you realize it. It is in what you do with it.

I'm good at a few things.
I'm okay at a few more things..
And I am not really good at even more things.

If I spend my time worrying and focusing on those last two things, what will I accomplish? If I spend time comparing myself with others, envying their success what will I accomplish? If I constantly second guess? If I toss things out unfinished because they are imperfect? If I give up before I start a task because of fear of judgement- what do I have in the end?

I have nothing.

Just nothing.

There are five basic questions that lead me to some life changing answers.

1. What do you love?

What are you passionate about? Make sure that the thing you love is not the thing you love about someone else. This is your particular "love," and it is probably a part of you already.

2. What do you hate?

What makes you frustrated or angry? Hate being the opposite of love can reveal something you feel passionate about. Example: Think small. Think in a daily view, not a world view, because most of us hate injustice, cruelty, etc. One thing I hate, that really gets my goat, is really bad writing and stumpy underwritten children's books that get published and become a whole franchise. Or just get published in the first place. Now I can excuse this opinion as something presumptuous and judgmental or I can recognize it for what it means - I'm passionate about books and the whole publishing industry.

3.What was your favorite pastime as a child?

Active or passive activity? Alone or in a group? Think of that first awkward year of Junior High, that activity you still loved before you entered the halls of peer pressure and painful self awareness. What is that activity that you loved to do before someone told you that you were doing it wrong and would never be good enough?

4. What are you good at?

Or what were you good at but you haven't done it in a long time? Cooking, building things, physical activity,giving advice, encouragement, writing, drawing, entertaining, helping others who need help, fixing things, organizing, sharing, giving, teaching, training, making things,listening, business ideas, self-starting, planning, music, dance, gardening, math, - there are so many different kinds of things you can be good at!

5. What can you teach?

What do you enjoy sharing/teaching others or your children? What life lessons or life skills are the most important to you?

These are the questions the Holy Spirit waked me through. Does that sound weird? Again, if you are not acquainted with Him it might sound odd, but I'm pointing to Him as my guide because I've never read a book, article or attended a seminar on how to find my life's gifts.

In my twenties I was just living. Looking to fill up an empty place inside of me with love and affirmation. Looking in all the wrong places, I might add.

In my thirties I was just getting through each day, making sure my kids made it to bed alive, devoted to them so much that I actively sought to silence dreams, goals and the voice of the Holy Spirit because I thought I had neither had time nor energy to do more than take care of my kids.

In my forties I started to listen.

Often we put our talents, dreams and gifting through a profit strainer. That one that says if we pour into something, cash must come out the other side. And while I don't recommend running away from responsibilities to chase after a dream, I do recommend giving up things like television, media and time eaters to chase after a dream.

Sometimes Christians put all their talents, dreams and giftings through this twin filter of church and Bible. If it doesn't serve God now, in an obvious manner, than it must not have value. There is no truth in that idea. One of the most important ways to serve God is loving Him with your true self.

I believe in the Creator of the Universe. He made platypuses people. He made mosquitoes. He made the giraffe and the cockroach. He made them because it pleased Him to do so. If He makes a platypus, which ninety nine percent of the worlds population will never see in the flesh, because it pleased Him, and then He can and does give beautiful, precious, important gifts to people that may never seemingly serve the church in any obvious way.

Even if you are not a Christian Believer, you must know that you are more than the hunt for food, shelter, and a mate. You are a unique, creative, being with endless potential stored in your genetic make-up.

All Christians have the same mandate: Love God/Love Others. For some that is their Life Calling. But for others, many many others, it is the mandate of our lives, but not our Calling. Love God/Love Others is how we do the job, not the job we do.

Does that make sense? For the Pastor, his job is Love God/Love Others. He literally gets paid to do that job.

For me, my job is with children, with elderly people. I get paid to do that and I do it with the character of Love God/Love Others. My calling, the thing I'm good at is to express and share my creativity with whoever cares to look at it- It's what I love, what I am good at, and what I can teach. The creativity part of my calling has been there since childhood. Whether I will ever earn money at it is still in question, but that I was called to do it is not. I can undervalue it. I can ignore it, but I can not escape it because it spills out everywhere. It is how I am made.

We can spend half a lifetime stifling how we are made.

Or we can embrace it and see where it leads.

That's what I am doing.

To change the attitude, a person needs to write it, speak it and act on it. Everyone learns differently, of course, but without action, gratitude is just one of those things that means very little.

Gratitude is not one of those things you keep to yourself. You have to spread it around so that it gets everywhere. (hey, Kinda like a Glitter Bomb!)

This isn't a glitter bomb, of course. This is a photo of a glitter craft I did with a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old yesterday. So- kinda a glitter bomb. And pretty.

Gratitude and Generosity go hand in hand, because gratitude is more than just an act of thankfulness. Gratitude is an acknowledgement of what you have. Giving is the action of that acknowledgement - the action response to understanding that YOU have something of value to give.

Being a craft ~~lover~~ hoarder ( I need a support group) there are times when all I am aware of are the things I don't have (a full set of Caran D'ache Neocolor ii's) and forget the things I do have (a lovely set of 80 Intense blocks.) I focus way to much on the fact that it is really expensive to take the family out to dinner, and I forget that we always have food to eat. I forget that I am taken care of, provided for, and have all the ingredients for basic comfort. I forget that I have enough that I can even share.

Sharing does not come naturally. Actually with children, sharing is a skill that comes with brain development...but if you miss that window to teach the skill or something impacts that crucial development, that child will spend the rest of her life struggling to learn that skill.

Sharing and giving are things that must be practiced with action, which brings me back to Gratitude and Generosity.

Which is why, one of the important parts of this Heart Of Gratitude Journey is giving stuff away.

Only - I've been working so much (I am so grateful for work!) that I don't have pictures of my Giveaway.

I do have pretty pictures of glittered acorns.

Today in the Gratitude Girls Cheer League, we are going to practice Giving Stuff away. All DAY LONG. We have several special guest giveaways that I am so excited to be sharing with you. We hope you join-in, enter all the giveaways, share your stories, and be blessed by the day.

I pray this weekend helps heal your heart and lets you know you are special and you are loved.

Be Blessed!

Creating Fearlessly

Letting Go Of Comparisons

I'm sure you have heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and sometimes we ladies behold ourselves and the stuff we do AND all we can do is self criticize.

We do it so much and so well there are ad-companies who sell products based on on letting go of that inner critic and accepting who we are.

I actually congratulate myself when I find the flaws. Give me a gold star, because, look, I'm honest about my shortcomings. If you're not sure what they are, I will voluntarily provide you with a complete list! Just ask. Or don't ask. I am likely to hand you the list anyway.

It's not just that I don't like what I see, what I am, or the stuff I create, it's that I am comparing it to some other ideal. Even if I never saw a commercial, never saw how big the Smith's house was, never experienced someone else's art - gee what would I be judging myself against?

If there is no yard stick - how can I measure?

It's not just that I have trouble looking in the mirror and not comparing myself to other women. I mean, come on! Julianna Margulies and I are about the same age. Shouldn't I look like her? Shouldn't all middle aged women get to wake up in the morning and look like her? That smooth dark hair. That flawless skin and bright smile.

My hair is dark. Hey, we practically look like sisters. If she had a shorter, triangle shaped sister with frizzy hair and a smile badly in need of a Cadillac dental plan....It's not just this famous woman (who has a team of people to make her look beautiful and whose job requires being well put together) I have this horrible tendency to compare myself to the women all around me, it's like a filter I wear over my brain! Look at me I am wearing a giant coffee filter on my head! I have to consciously take that thing off to even see a little bit clearly.

Creating Fearlessly

To create fearlessly, to explore crafts, art and even scrapbooking, I have to make myself stop comparing and just Do. I have to quiet my inner editor, just move forward, letting every project become a learning experience. I write a story, bake a cake, and or even invite people over into my home, I have to take off that ugly filter and just rest in who I am.

For me, it's a Faith thing. I have help removing that filter, and I have help resting - sometimes I can't do it on my own. Okay, Usually I can't do it on my own.

In the last year I have been very aware of this critical side of me. Not just because I wear my own ridiculous, useless filter, but because I see other's through it. And I don't want to do that. I don't want to be a critical-comparing person. I really don't. In 2015 I've worked harder on being more encouraging and empowering to everyone. I choose to encourage my husband, my children, my friends. Even myself.

I honestly believe, the only way I am going to be able to continue to create anything fearlessly in 2015 is by Letting Go of Comparisons, and just accepting that - This is Me. I was created to be Me, not Julianna Margulies, not anyone else. And me is not only okay, Me is uniquely gifted, specially different, and wonderfully made.

My word for 2015 is fearless.

I used Tattered Angels Glimmer Mists & paints to for the colors on this large tag. On the girl I used High Impact Paints and did a tiny bit of detailing with metallic Pitt pens. I used a little bit of glitter glue, but didn't like it and scrapped most of it off. The flowers all started out white, as did those little strands of burlap. The little frame is an old K & Company epoxy and metal frame I have had for ages and ages. I painted it with gesso and used a Tattered Angels Naturally Aged Paint System to change it completely. I love how it turned out. The little metal findings are from 7 Gypsies. The background papers are from the 7 Gypsies, Gypsy Moments line. The tissue paper is French Scrip from Canvas Corp brands that I painted with Tattered Angels Paints.

We all have those days. Those days where self doubt strikes up the orchestra in your brain and starts that same old song you have been hearing since you were in jr. high (- maybe even before that.)

I'm not good enough.

I can't do anything right.

No one will ever see me.

Why am I wasting my time on this?

Why do I even bother?

For me, these days come after a high - after something really good happens. Sometimes it happens as soon as an hour after I get good news.

Or these days come with the hormone surges and lapses of being female. I'm still young enough to get those days - err, weeks.

I don't like that voice that tells me "I'm not good enough." I know you have heard it too. For some people, no matter how perfect they are, they still hear it. In fact, I bet the more perfect you are, the more you hear it.

We can't all have the confidence of Donald Trump.

You have to give that man credit where credit is due. He has lived all those inspiring quotes about overcoming adversity, failing and not giving up, taking risks, and hard work bringing big things to pass. His arrogance, no matter how overpowering, is earned from his experiences. This is what happens when you loose everything and get it back, it's what happens when risks pay off.

How I Overcome Self Doubt

Recognize The Lies.

That voice that says “You are not good enough.” is lying to you. If you listen to the lie, you will never be more than “not good enough.”

Keep Trying Until You Do It Right.

It is better to try and fail than not try at all. So keep trying, keep learning, keep doing until get to where you want to go.

Seek A Comforter

There is no need to go this alone. Since I am a Christian believer, I am never alone, and I always have Someone who looks at me and says. “You are not perfect, I still love you. You are good enough for Me to die for. I accept you. Keep moving forward. I am with you.”

Not a Believer?

Then find your friend, your parent, the love of your life, to speak truth to you.

Get Some Space.

It’s okay to withdraw, reboot, and take some time to evaluate. Have some coffee. Eat some chocolate. Take a nap.

Focus on the Good.

Instead of being overpowered by all the things going wrong, count your blessings. Find the things that are going right and be grateful for them.

Count Your Victories

Remember Donald Trump? He’s not looking at his failures. He’s looking at his victories. He’s letting them power him forward. What are the victories in your life? Where can you give yourself an A+ grade? Where were your prayers answered?

Speak Positive Things Out Loud

Drown out the ugly lies by speaking “I CAN.” over them. I use Biblical Scripture for this and read through who God says I am.

Go Love On Someone

Just do this. You will feel better.

Fix What You Can, Walk Away From What You Can Not Fix

We can only control ourselves. Therefore, we can only fix ourselves. If I need a conversation with someone to erase my self doubt, to deal with perceived wrong-doing on my part, to better understand a situation, than I try to have that conversation. But my response to any and every situation is one I own. I control myself. So I fix what I can in myself. If it’s not in me, I can’t fix it. So it’s best to walk away.

I hope you are encouraged by this post. I started out feeling very discouraged, now that I've gone through the list, I am feeling ever so much better. What do you do to Overcome Self Doubt? Do you have a cheerleader in your life to speak truth to you?

My Grandmother Dee was that person for me. When she died at age 86 a few years ago, I keenly felt the loss. But God knows what we need. Amazingly, last summer I met a fellow crafty person in the form of +Nancy Gaines. She is an encourager by nature even though she comes with the cutest pair of red glasses and no pom-pom's. She is launching her own really cool business this week. You really should pop over to her website Domesticraft.com and check her out.