This is the story of the treasure I found....
There I was, just going through grandma's things...trying not to get emotional.
As far back as I can remember, the yellow chest of drawers had been in her bedroom, with the matching dressing table, stool and bedside table. When she moved to the assisted living home, the dressing table had to be given away...but she still had that chest of drawers.
I remember being sneaky as a kid searching through treaserues in her drawers like Grandpa's purple, coins from forign places, and interesting bits of jewlery.
So here I was doing it again, sorting through underwear and good socks that help circulation, scarves, pajamas, and a few boxes of grandma's memories, when I came across the item of my dreams. In perfect mint condition. Never used.
Never worn. Just my size.
Padded underwear!!!
aka Booty Pop for the practical woman. Dare I?
Oh, you bet your booty I dare.
I grabbed those babies as if they were worth millions and put them in my stack of things to take home.
My heart beating with giddy joy, my flat booty wiggling with determined hope.
Finally, I, hoped, I could wear jeans that filled out the back side and wouldn't catch on the flub of my front side because I would have a juicy-licous booty to hold them up!
Yes! I could shake it like Shakera. I would work it like Jay-Lo.
I could now go forth and change the world with my delightful, artificially but not surgically plumped behind!
But would they work? Where all my dreams about to come true, or be deflated forever. Was this just wishful thinking?
Would I look utterly ridiculous?
I don't have much in the way of a bottom or hips. My curves are a little higher on my body, and end at my ribs.
Can anything short of duct taping silicone to my butt save me from my flat sitting pad and long thighs? Did I just find deliverance among my dear grandmother's things?
Well, THAT seems to help a little. The pockets are fuller, and I can see some difference between my thigh and my butt.
But do I look pinchable? My husband thinks so!
What will others think?
So, I took my wonder-ware to Reno with me and my nephew's graduation. Would there be a difference? Would people notice?
Here I am at my mom's house, all dressed up to go to my nephew's graduation. This is without the miracle that is padded grandma panties.
And here I am after...
My mom, my brother's girlfriend Beth and all had a huge laugh over this. And I felt so totally and strangely empowered by my butt that I wore them all evening.
It wasn't until later, when Beth told my brother's ex-wife what I was wearing and told her to smack my padded behind that things got interesting. Not that I could feel much, the padding is 1/2 inch think and imbued with such powerful and protective butt enhancing qualities that I couldn't feel a thing.
However, when Beth invited my dad to take a squeeze, I was laughing too hard to see if he took her up on the offer.
If you have a flat behind like I do, I highly recommend you get your own pair. Only people who actually look at butts will notice a difference anyway!
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