Goal setting: What keeps you from setting goals?

I was just making a list of all the stuff I feel like I need to get done.  It was a pretty stinking long list.

Just the list of daily living fills up a page, eating up time and energy. By the time I've done the things I have to do, I'm too wore out to do the things I want to do.  Do you ever encounter this?

I was reading somewhere in a group a list of reasons that held people back from moving forward.  Health problems were really big on that list, followed the absolute derailment of the health problems of a loved one, or even a death.  These were big, heart felt things that interrupted peoples lives and forced them back to the basics of the big question.  "Will I take a shower today?"  These kind of things are like a start over button.  It's a redefinition of the journey you thought you were on to the actual journey you are living.  I have been there.  Chances are, I will visit that place again.  If you are reading this and are thinking, "Yes, that's me"  I just want to let you know there is GRACE & HOPE for you.  Do what you can right now.  Day by Day, eventually, you can plan tomorrow, but right now, don't even try.  Just take care of yourself, your own dear ones, moment by moment. That is enough.  Okay?

Something else that holds us back from moving forward is overwhelm. Have you ever watched that show Hoarders?  It is kind of fascinating in a so disgusting I-can't-look-away, please-don't -let-this-be-me kind of way.  I see that kind of home, that sort of human-made beaver mound stronghold of STUFF as all the stuff I feel like I need to be doing.  Short of a bulldozer, I wouldn't begin to know how to get rid of things and make it into a habitable home.  And you might be thinking,

Yeah, I've seen that show.  I would use a bulldozer too.

But if you bring out the bulldozer, you miss the chance to find that one family treasure that will bring tears to your eyes, that will impact generations, toss something in the trash that might even be worth money.  If you just bull-doze it all away you might loose a piece of yourself you can never ever get back.

And so the only option is Do Nothing.  Because you don't know where to start.  That's how I feel about my get 'er done list.

Am I alone?  Can I get a Witness?

A third thing holding us back from moving forward is Fear.  Sometimes we don't even know that fear is what is lurking beneath our solid, practical reasons for not making changes in our lives, but if you really get to the core of your reasons for

not stepping up
not taking a stand
not starting a business
not making a change
not developing a routine
not sharing our creativity
not doing something that will be hard

It's fear.

I am sure there are more things that hold us back.  But I am fairly certain with all my intensely casual internet research and after talking to a couple of girlfriends that I am almost maybe hitting the nail on the head with one of those pink lady hammers.

Summing up -  Things that hold us back from reaching our goals

1.  The journey you are living vs the journey you thought you were living
2. Overwhelm
3. Fear

And how to reach those goals and overcome these obstacles?  My short answers to each of these:

1. Live where you are at, moment by moment, until the time comes when you can think about    tomorrows again.
2. No bull-dozes.  Do things piece by piece, one thing at a time.  Delegate where possible.
3. You can't go over it, You can't go under it, You have to go through it.  

Which brings me back to my really long to do list and goals.  Because I know what keeps me from accomplishing things.  I know where I am at in my journey, and I practiced all last year living out a fearless life.  Which sticks me firmly in the place of being OVERWHELMED. I have piles of stuff around me figuratively and literally and I feel like I don't know where to start.

I started with a list.

Next...is another list.  I'm going to break tasks down,  piece by piece, even hour by hour until I have a plan that works.

How are YOU going to accomplish your goals this year?



  1. I can accomplish anything I want to...once I get out of my own way. That includes getting clear about my goals. The simpler the better. Without judgement or self- recrimination or guilt. And that means enforcing pretty strict boundaries. That may feel harsh, but I Deserve it. For my health, happiness, and productivity, all of which makes me a better wife, mother, friend, and artist.

    Thank you, for the thoughtful exploration! Susan~


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