Why do you love me?

I know that there are some questions that men hate to hear from their wives. Sometimes I ask the stupid questions, just to be mean, just to see what kind of answer my husband of eleven years, and friend of more than twenty years, will come up with.

"Am I fat?"
"Would you love me if I weighed 300 lbs?"
"If I die, are you going to get married again?"

Sometimes he knows I am being ridiculous, and sometimes, I guess when he isn't quite plugged into my mood, or properly reading my mind he answers: "Fat? No, but you could loose weight if you exercised more and didn't drink so much diet coke and eat candy at 10:00 at night."

Which is a fine answer. It gives me an excuse to be mad so that he feels like he needs to go to the store and replenish my supply of Reese's Peanutbutter Cups.

Today I asked him, "Why do you love me?"

His amazingly romantic answer? "Because I made a commitment before God to love you."

I huffed and blew my hair out of my eyes. "No, I mean, apart from an act of your will, apart from discipline, why do you love me?"

He got this deer-in-the-headlights expression. I wasn't aware this was one of those questions that stump a man. I gave him some of my specific reasons why I love him above all other mortal men. Reasons why I married him. I carefully explained that when I am so frustrated or angry with him and us that I feel like I am going to explode, that I remember these reasons, and it helps me remember how and why I love him.

He tried to take my reasons..."Well, that's why I love you too!"

"Listen, you can't just look at my paper and see my answers you need to come up with your own!" I continued to express my feelings on this.

He just sat there. He says he was listening. But since he said nothing, I think he was thinking about his next homework assignment from his online school.

I am so going to need some Reese's!




  1. Give him some homework from the school of luuuuv. Tell him you want a 500 word essay titled "Why I Love My Wife" by noon on Friday. ;-)

  2. Anonymous7:42 PM

    This post was funny. I ask my hubby those types of questions too and it's usually the same. Or he'll give me unsatisfactory answers like, "I just do"

  3. *LOL*
    I asked The Professor that question when he proposed. I'm not sure he had an answer then - but my dad told me that it was an unfair question to ask a guy.
    Really and truly - they love us "Just because".

    We've talked and talked and I can give reasons why I love The professor and he can give me a few - if I drag them out of him. For guys - the mighty hunters - sometimes pinpointing to a few things often results in a mental hard drive crash.

    They love us - Because they do.

    We women, the creatures of emotions that we are, can make list upon list upon list.

    I think we're the only creature that men might hunt that they can't understand. *LOL*

    Oh, pass the reese's, please. :-)

  4. Dapo, you are the pinnacle of EVIL!! I'd never do that to my husband. Okay, I lied. I just did it to him to see what his response would be. He said, "Because I enjoy spending time with you." Um, not the best answer in the world, but nowhere near your hubby's "Because I have to." (I'm paraphrasing, mind you.)

    Reese's bring out your horns. ;o)

  5. Such a familiar story! Neil's standard answer is "I don't need a reason." And a hug. And his favourite quote? "Choose your Love. Love your choice." An act of will indeed.

    Not so good for the ole self-esteem though. I think he knows this. And I think this is why he buys me chocolate.

    Brilliant post.

  6. When I was in the throes of illness during my pregnancy, and was willfully disobeying my bedrest order to clean the house, Beaker asked me why I was cleaning, and I flipped out at him. The end result was a sobbing hysterical mess, asking him, through streamers of goop, "Why do you love me?"

    For once in his life he wins with his answer, "because you love me, even though I'm a pig."

  7. Anonymous4:41 AM

    ohhhhh how men love loaded questions! they do so well answering them.....NOT

  8. Ok, for once I'm gonna be serious...

    Honestly? I love his answer. It says to me that his love for you is not predicated on subjective things that can change or disappear over time - though I'm sure that you have MANY fine qualities for him to love. Should those things that he loves about you one day be gone, yet he will love you, because his love is predicated on the objective promise that he made to you before God. I think it is a wonderful answer.

  9. i gave up asking these questions long ago... He never answered them in a way I hoped because I realized we function completely different.

    but more importantly: what??? Diet soda stops you from losing weight? :)

  10. I think he should have said, "Because you don't grab strange men's bottoms at Sam Goody's."

    You are such a naughty girl, badgering your sweet man this way. Don't you know how not-talky they are??? ;)

  11. You were friends for twenty years? Friends? I do not think that means what you think it means. ~snicker~

    Mr Coffee gave me a list. I know, I know. He is part martian.

  12. I had no idea this was one of those loaded questions! I thought about this post last night and wondered if this might make my Knight look bad, but apparently when he told me his lack of a suitable answer was a "guy thing" and that he needed to process, he wasn't just making it up!

  13. Emma~

    Well, we knew each other forever... isn't that friendship?

  14. unashamed~

    That's just what he said!

  15. I have this same conversation with my hubby so so many times. I enjoyed reading this post so much!

  16. I don't ask my hubby that one. Its enough for me that he does, and that he still thinks I am hot even in all my fat glory.

  17. I feel your pain! So much so, that I am about to go out and get a Hershey bar just to show solidarity! (thanks for the excuse. heh heh.)

  18. Hmm..that's men for ya..

  19. What I wonder is why wasn't his first answer ok????

    Glad you enjoyed the Sketch Site!!
    Tom from "glosta"

  20. LOL...awwwwwwwwww men are from Mars right?..ha

  21. I'm going to see what my husband says about this...

  22. Ah HA! That is exactly what my husband would say, and exactly the way I would respond. *sigh* Thanks for sharing the story.

    I appreciated your comment on my Islam post - I responded to your comment, but I'll also incorporate your question into a future post. Thanks!

  23. In this house it's mostly Juhani who asks funny questions like that. He doesn't want chocolate though, he wants money so he can gamble online.

    I wish he'd want chocolate..

  24. Wow-we!....you sure have had a lot going on since I've been gone!! Contests.....movie reviews......marriage analysis.....

  25. Oh brother. Mine always says something stupid like, "I love you because you have a nice butt."

    Whatever. He makes a joke out of it.

    I think he's pulled, "I love you because you make really good popcorn."


  26. I have to comment this, I've been asked by my girl few time and still couldn't answer it (a good one).

    This is because we men usually fall in love with women in the first place because of your first impression, your figure, your face, your voice, we fall in love because you are beautiful.

    But we do know, you don't want to hear that. You want a reason, like a sentimental reason, something you wont expect at all and that is something we can not come up with.

    My favorite all time answer is: "I don't now why, but I know I love you."


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