How To Be The Most Confident You

An Idea

When you were small did you feel out of place or different?  I have this idea that has been formulating since my late thirties (I'm gettin into my fabulous fifties now,) I have this idea that every person on the planet has at one point felt out of place and different. 

In any group of people, when I am feeling awkward, someone else in the group is feeling the same way. Maybe everyone in the whole group is feeling that way, at the same time. I think this happens in every gathering of people, at every every age, in every setting.

I think everyone feels like they are on the outside looking in.

When does it happen that we start thinking certain people never feel insecure, inadequate or imperfect? Famous people sometimes look like they have it all going for them.  We see them on t.v, watch their stories unfold, but even reality t.v. makes it look so much more perfect and comfortable compared to our own lives. I wonder if Kim Kardashian ever feels ugly or stupid. I wonder if  (insert famous actress of your choice here) ever felt like she wasn't worthy, wasn't good enough and didn't fit in.

Closer to reality there is probably at least one person at your workplace who looks like they have it all together.  Or think of church, sometimes there are entire families who seem to be living the dream of the perfect life.  Think back during the school years, college, high-school and jr. high and the first time you really became aware of social differences.

My theory is that every human being no matter how wealthy, beautiful or gifted she is, has felt different and inadequate many times during their lives.

Take a introspection moment here.  Look back at all those times where you were so uncomfortable with yourself and the situation that you wanted to peel off your skin, that you wanted to hide under a rock, that you felt  not good enough...

Add a few people who always look like they have everything together and they always know what they are doing...

Draw a mental picture for yourself.

Now see them with the same pain you felt. See that what is really happening underneath.

What Happened With Me

I remember feeling like an outsider the first time I stepped on school property.  I'd had a small social circle before Kindergarten which consisted of my older brother and some cousins.  A pattern of me feeling different within my own family had already been established and school did nothing but reinforce it from Day One.

After some really pain filled, emotional years as a child I became a Christian at sixteen.  Jesus revealed His love to me and brought me out of a very dark place.  I was filled with despair and hate. I had a hair trigger temper that was capable of very destructive rages.  I loathed everything about myself.  Stupid, fat, ugly, awkward, lost, different, not enough, not good enough.  And I hated everyone else.

And then I met Jesus, Son of God, God in the Flesh, He showed me a love so profound it literally changed my personality.  First He loved me as I was, stupid, fat, ugly, ect.  Then He showed me who I was:  Loved, Wanted, Good Enough to Suffer and Die For.  And then He showed me how He saw everyone else.

How I Became Confident

I think understanding these three things is the key to being the best, most confident person you can be.

Understand who you are
Understand Who loves you.
Understand who everyone else is. 

And once you have these three revelations, being the best, most confident You is so much easier.

post card for Canvas Corp Brands DT swap

When I share my art, it's not because I think it is perfect, professional or worth the big bucks.  It isn't perfect.  But very few artists are ever fully satisfied with their work plus we all stated at the same place and we are all on equal playing ground.

I share it because I want you to not be afraid to share yours.  I share it because it is a part of my story.  I share my story because it might make you feel like you are not alone, different, and out of place. I create fearlessly because it is so much fun, I am all most certain everyone on the planet should be doing it too.

Silly Glasses postcard - but it was too fat to send so it went in anenvelope! 

Okay.  Maybe not.  But if you want to make stuff---fearing what other people think about it should not be a reason for holding back.  They feel the same fear you feel and they do it anyway.  Some of them even create fearlessly and teach classes!

Art cards from the index card a day challenge at
Confidence may not happen for you like it did for me.  And sometimes it is a process.  (Almost fifty, did I say?  I am still learning stuff.  Which is actually kind of wonderful when I think about it.)  But if you haven't started the process what are you waiting for?

Did you make any New Year's resolutions to be more confident?  Did you make any decision to become a better You?  Did you Pick a One Word this year that has been guiding you on a pathway to more positive wonderfulness in your life?

If you did , & The Gratitude Girls Cheer League is hosting a Heart Check event on facebook. You are invited.  There are five daily prompts for comments and photo sharing.  (feel free to go back and do the previous prompts!)  Comments will get you entered to win a coffee gift card and a "flip book" made by me.

If we are to teach are children to be confident, we must learn the path for ourselves too.  Do you think my theory is correct?  How are you learning to be a more confident person?



  1. My friend, you have such a big heart! It comes through in your words, your hugs and your art! {{{{❤}}}}

  2. I definitely agree that being a confident person comes from knowing the One who created us and gave His son so we could have eternal life! I'm currently teaching lots of illustrated Bible journaling classes & sometimes feel inadequate when I see the artwork that others share online. However, God has opened doors for me to teach and given me the confidence to share this fun hobby with others.


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