Dapoppins

Creating Fearlessly

Letting Go Of Comparisons

I'm sure you have heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and sometimes we ladies behold ourselves and the stuff we do AND all we can do is self criticize.

We do it so much and so well there are ad-companies who sell products based on on letting go of that inner critic and accepting who we are.

I actually congratulate myself when I find the flaws. Give me a gold star, because, look, I'm honest about my shortcomings. If you're not sure what they are, I will voluntarily provide you with a complete list! Just ask. Or don't ask. I am likely to hand you the list anyway.

It's not just that I don't like what I see, what I am, or the stuff I create, it's that I am comparing it to some other ideal. Even if I never saw a commercial, never saw how big the Smith's house was, never experienced someone else's art - gee what would I be judging myself against?

If there is no yard stick - how can I measure?

It's not just that I have trouble looking in the mirror and not comparing myself to other women. I mean, come on! Julianna Margulies and I are about the same age. Shouldn't I look like her? Shouldn't all middle aged women get to wake up in the morning and look like her? That smooth dark hair. That flawless skin and bright smile.

My hair is dark. Hey, we practically look like sisters. If she had a shorter, triangle shaped sister with frizzy hair and a smile badly in need of a Cadillac dental plan....It's not just this famous woman (who has a team of people to make her look beautiful and whose job requires being well put together) I have this horrible tendency to compare myself to the women all around me, it's like a filter I wear over my brain! Look at me I am wearing a giant coffee filter on my head! I have to consciously take that thing off to even see a little bit clearly.

Creating Fearlessly

To create fearlessly, to explore crafts, art and even scrapbooking, I have to make myself stop comparing and just Do. I have to quiet my inner editor, just move forward, letting every project become a learning experience. I write a story, bake a cake, and or even invite people over into my home, I have to take off that ugly filter and just rest in who I am.

For me, it's a Faith thing. I have help removing that filter, and I have help resting - sometimes I can't do it on my own. Okay, Usually I can't do it on my own.

In the last year I have been very aware of this critical side of me. Not just because I wear my own ridiculous, useless filter, but because I see other's through it. And I don't want to do that. I don't want to be a critical-comparing person. I really don't. In 2015 I've worked harder on being more encouraging and empowering to everyone. I choose to encourage my husband, my children, my friends. Even myself.

I honestly believe, the only way I am going to be able to continue to create anything fearlessly in 2015 is by Letting Go of Comparisons, and just accepting that - This is Me. I was created to be Me, not Julianna Margulies, not anyone else. And me is not only okay, Me is uniquely gifted, specially different, and wonderfully made.

My word for 2015 is fearless.

I used Tattered Angels Glimmer Mists & paints to for the colors on this large tag. On the girl I used High Impact Paints and did a tiny bit of detailing with metallic Pitt pens. I used a little bit of glitter glue, but didn't like it and scrapped most of it off. The flowers all started out white, as did those little strands of burlap. The little frame is an old K & Company epoxy and metal frame I have had for ages and ages. I painted it with gesso and used a Tattered Angels Naturally Aged Paint System to change it completely. I love how it turned out. The little metal findings are from 7 Gypsies. The background papers are from the 7 Gypsies, Gypsy Moments line. The tissue paper is French Scrip from Canvas Corp brands that I painted with Tattered Angels Paints.

The Story of A Table

This magazine table used to be in my childhood playroom. ~~Twenty years ago.~~ Okay, forty years ago. Once a bright a sixties-turquoise blue, I dumped crayons in the pockets, used it as a desk, and colored all over it to better reflect my shining three year old personality. The top is formica or something – it doesn't even fit the base and isn't original to the table.

The table is apart of the home of my childhood, my last piece of the little white house with kelly green shutters. As if I had taken off a door of that old house, or some wood from the molding, or one of the old metal door knobs - this table represents my childhood home as much as any house parts and pieces that require tools for removal.

That house had two stories, picture windows with glass that rippled and an unfinished cobweb filled basement. It was hidden from the road by lines of conifer and fruit trees. Most of the yard was really just field, with nut, fruit and fir trees all around it. We had 7 and a half acres, (which always seemed like a lot) a big old barn, orchards, and a pond. My dad's horse, Blaze, grazed in the field along with a few cows.

When I was brought home from the hospital it was to this house. We were still living there in third grade when my parents decided to finalize their separation and get a divorce. They were separated sometime when I was in kindergarten but I don't remember it. There aren't any big blow-out fights or arguments stuck in my consciousness from that time. Instead I only remember my dad working in his shop. I remember sitting in front of him while we rode together on the horse, Blaze. I remember my mom looking out the kitchen window to check on me while she did the dishes. I remember hunting for frogs in the pond, climbing on hay in the barn and scribbling all over the little magazine table.

Even though I don't recall arguments between them there was enough stress in the marriage that one day my parents sat us down and said, “We can't live together any more.” With the divorce, my dad got the house and Mom got the family boat and custody of of us kids.

We moved out of the little house. My Dad and his new wife moved in.

When we moved out my mom left things behind that she said belonged to my dad – inherited pieces that had come down through both sides of his family: chairs, a grand dining room table and buffet, random things that were a part of my life. My new stepmother moved in and she did what any wife would do – she made the space her own. She refinished or repainted everything she came across. She reupholstered chairs and put wallpaper in the bathroom. The playroom became her room. She turned most of my previous outside play areas into flower beds and mowed lawn spaces. Eventually most of the seven acres became a well respected plant business with a beautiful show yard filled with hundreds of dollars worth of rare plants.

My brother and I stayed at the house during winter and summer school breaks. Until we were too old to share a space my brother and I slept in our old bedroom, which had been modified into a guest/storage room when we weren't there the rest of the year. From sixteen to nineteen I stayed in that room until I got a job as a live-in nanny.

One evening my husband and I were driving past the house on our way home from somewhere. A for sale sign stood at the edge of the property. I was completely surprised. I knew there was trouble in my Dad's second marriage. I did not know things had progressed to the division of assets. I called my Dad, trying to hold back tears. Emotion overwhelmed and surprised me. He said he was sorry for not thinking to tell me, and by the way, they were selling a bunch of stuff. If I wanted anything I needed to go check it out.

The sale was in my dads “second” shop. A huge, unheated, building about the size of a four car garage that he had built mostly himself. I walked though the sale where tables had been set up with the evidence of their life together. The evening was chilly and I hadn't brought a coat or gloves. This second marriage had lasted longer than the first and room felt like a thrift store because there was so much to sell. A lot of the furniture that my mother had initially left behind was in the sale. An agency had been hired to set up and execute the process and like an estate sale everything was priced at market value, not cheap garage sale prices. The saddle that had belonged to my dad, that I used on two very adored horses and thought of as mine was priced at over $300. The grand old table, also over a hundred. I couldn't afford any of it and didn't need any of it- but seeing those things for sale to strangers was an emotional punch in the stomach.

I could only afford and find space for a couple items.

The magazine table was one of them.

For some kids divorce becomes this fixed place in time, a before point that we consciously or unconsciously spend our lives trying to revisit and set right. The table holds more than a sentimental connection for me, it’s a direct cord to my past. It’s from that before time, when life was seemly perfect and when I understood everything. It’s from that place that I have been trying to recapture in one way or another for most of my life.

I bought the magazine table home not because I needed it, or thought it was particularly special. I dragged it with me through two apartments and into my house not because it has important purpose. I have it because it is apart of my past, apart of something lost that I can never get back.

The off-white color that my step mother used to repaint it doesn't go with anything and holds little appeal, but it never occurred to me to bother to paint thing. Until now.

The Paint

As a design team member my last order from Canvas Corp Brands contained a some lovely extra goodies. They sent me some of the new Tattered Angels Decor and DIY paint. I have never, despite my love of crafting, done any home DIY. That might surprise you- but it’s just not a challenge I had taken on.

It took me a few weeks of looking around the house to think what I might want to do. . First I tried an unfinished wooden tray. The paint went on smooth and easy and quite fast. I set the tray aside, deciding to use the Decor and DIY paint as a base coat for a later multi-media project. The smooth, flat paint will blend beautifully with other Tattered Angels products and I can’t wait to make something fun.

Furniture Repainting, Tattered Angels Decor DIY Paint, Dapoppins

However, painting the tray used hardly any paint, and got my courage up to try something bigger.

The magazine table has been in the guest bathroom since we moved here. It’s not great in there, but for lack of having anything else, it works for holding extra hand towels and toilet paper.

I decided to paint it.

I might need to watch a few furniture painting tutorials. I probably should have sanded some areas smoother, painted section by section, and used a better paint brush. I've never done this before, so that’s my excuse. Despite my kind of careless way of going about it the Tattered Angels Decor DIY paint needs no mixing and glides on to most surfaces. It’s pretty Dapoppins proof.

The Result

I picked the blue because it was opposite of the color my stepmother had painted it. I know that is not a great reason. Nor is buying something because you scribbled on it when you were 3. But I had the this lovely rustic blue, and it works in the bathroom. So much so that I re-did the white shelf above it that held a mess of bathroom items.

In re-painting the table, something strange happened. It was cathartic. Picking the color. Spreading on the paint. Each stroke brought me ownership of the table as an object and weakened the hold it had as a memory.

I'm not sure if that is what always happens when one repaints an object. But when my step mother moved in - she consciously or unconsciously put her mark on everything and erased the former occupants of the house - she made it hers. She took this thing out of my playroom and made it hers but I had never bothered to make it mine again.

This designer challenge for Tattered Angels gave me a chance to do that-

And now this table has a new story.

I just made an order from Canvas Corp Brands for more Tattered Angels Decor-DIY paint. This time I am getting Scarlet. I can't wait. What do you have in your house that you might repaint? Are you like me, carting around stuff from your past - stuff that you don't "own?" I have a few more things in my home I could put my mark on - much to my husband's dismay. What can you put your mark on?

(this post contains affiliate links, sorta. I might get store credit if you buy something I link to, but I don't think it's "set-up" so then again, I might not. I share products because I love them and use them, not because I'm paid to share them.)

And what happens when I doodle while talking on the phone....

There is this really cool kind of doodling known as "Zentangle," which combines art with meditation. Maybe you have seen it around or done some yourself?

There are lots of how-to books and classes on this creative drawing that can be done with a Sharpie pen - or a fancy pens and pencils. I gotta say that the fine point Sharpie has been one of my favorite pens since high school - it's my doodle tool of choice.

Some folks love the complex designs of Zentangle, and some not so much - but it is one of those art forms easily adaptable to all skill levels- I've tried my hand at it a couple of times.

Tattered Angels came out with a line of papers named Tattered Tangles that are an awesome starting place for this kind of doodling.

Printed on a plain white, slick surface (one perfect for Sharpie's!) called, "leather paper" for a mistable surface, these paper's are great for adapting and altering to my own style. I really love that the Tangled pages are a starting point for creativity. Recently (last week) there was a designer challenge at the Canvas Corp Brands Creative Studio to use these papers, and I spent some time playing with them.

I cut up a 12 x 12 page and used Mod Podge to glue it down to some chipboard I had purchased at Scrap. (I'm going to have to blog about the Scrap Store in Portland.)

I added some personal touches and Tattered Angels Paints.

And then I did another one...the same way.

I messed up a bit on this one - if you can't tell it's supposed to say, "Life is better when you laugh!" Because it is. Life is better when I don't over think it, don't sweat the small stuff, and laugh at my own mistakes.

These pages are so fun to play with. And there are so many things you can do with them. I was checking out some of the other designer's projects - you gotta check them out too! Oh Crafty Goodness! The Fearless Creativity is off the charts. Some of these designers- just - WoW. From the simple to the sensational, The Canvas Corp's Creative Crew really preformed. If you want inspration to try new things and new doodle ideas, go HERE.

Here are a few of my favorites -

Tangle Tiles Gift Box

Get Tangled Card

Tattered Tangle Tea Cup

You can see the full line of papers here:

You can see the full line of mists, paints, sprays, and glazes to colorize the papers here.

Have you ever tried Zentangle? Do you find it relaxing? Do you doodle when you are on the phone? (This may or may not be why I made the mistake on the "Laugh" page.) How would you use these pages?

(Posted while on duty in Arizona)

I have really been focusing on my creative side here on the blog so far in 2015 - Not to worry, I will get back to some Children's literary explorations in March- But there have been some personal (non-nanny) opportunities that are just kinda taking over.

Being apart of a creative crew for Canvas Corp Brands is one of those.

If you do any scrapbooking, memory keeping, or scrap-related mixed media you would have heard of Canvas Corp Brands/ 7 gypsies/ and Tattered Angels.

7 Gypsies did grunge and vintage BEFORE Tim Holtz came along. Way before. And they are still doing it very well.

Tatered Angels was doing color mists when my sixteen year old was a baby.

And Canvas Corp does - well they do so much. Paper packs, tiny clothes pins, things made from canvas and burlap. At least one of their products can be found in every craft store you walk into.

To be on their Creative Crew is HUGE!

It's a big stinkin' crafty deal!

And Their CREW is huge.

For a family run company, they have a huge lot of wonderful, diverse designers. The company wants to remind people about their diverse range of products, and the best way to do that is to have a lot of different craft bloggers posting about Canvas Corp products. The company has been very generous with their product too, so that all the designers can have a chance to show it off.

I am so incredibly grateful to be one of the team.

Our very first challenge was to create personal, meaningful 4x4 canvas in our style.

I think by now a child holding an umbrella is self explanatory for Dapoppins. I used golden gel medium, golden bead gel medium, paper, a FabScraps chipboard child and LOTS of Tattered angels mists. I layered the mists with the gel medium.

Cell phone photo shows the shine a little better...

Now I need you to do something for me. Go to the Canvas Corp Brands Creative Studio Blog, find my canvas and VOTE for me.

I know there are about ten or twenty other canvas's you might want to vote for. They are interesting, and diverse and so cool. BUT find MINE and SAY "I love that Dana S. aka Dapoppins!"

I would be ever so grateful if you did.

Click photo to go to Canvas Corp Brands Creative Studio

Thank YOu.

Altered Cigar Boxes

My Mixed Media Adventures!

I very blessed to work with children, to have children, and to be surrounded by children. About fifteen children participated in my wedding in 1995. Fifteen children who walked up the isle in a parade of red, white, and black colors, throwing huge handfuls of rainbow hued confetti at over three hundred guests. At THEM. Every guest sitting near the isle was covered in confetti. Stuck to their eyelashes and lost in their hair. Down shirt fronts and piled in laps. Guests at my wedding were literally dripping with colorful tissue confetti.

Can you picture it? So hilarious.

My gift to the guests.

I am grateful to have that kind of fun and laughter in my life everyday.

My last born child came into the world in 2004 and she is much cuter, sweeter, has better hair, and is way smarter at math that I am. And even though she hasn't been a baby for many years, I am still finding little bits of baby stuff around the house.

My junk drawer still has her binky in it. There are baby teeth stashed in multiple jars and containers. There are little pieces and memories scattered everywhere because let's face it - I am not an organized person.

Is there help group for this? > probably, but don't sign me up. I don't need another thing to NoT get done!

I need a box - or two for some of this stuff. A Memory Box!

Dapoppins's Simple How To:

Get a box.
Paint it with Gesso.
Glue some paper pieces on it.
Paint the pieces in pastel Tattered Angel colors.
Spritz on some Tattered Angles
Paint on Golden Gel Medium
Spritz more Tattered Angels
Add some texture
Repeat last five steps until you feel finished.
Embellish as needed.

Memory Box, Baby, Pastel Colors, Tattered Angels, Dapoppins

I used gesso, Golden gel medium and Tattered Angles paints to create these boxes. I was experimenting and I'm not sure how the experiment turned out. . I'm not sure they are finished - but I don't have the hardware in my stash right now to take them to the next step.

I do, however love the colors and the messy, grungy textures. The textures all come from the gesso and gel medium, the color all comes from Tattered Angels paints.

Tattered Angels Paints are so fun to play with. They were one of the first Glimmer Mists on the scrapbook market, the first to take scrapbooking into the mixed-media realm. I know there are lots of mists and paints out there now, but fifteen years ago the only mist paint with shimmer in it that I had heard of was Tattered Angels. Adding shine and sparkle to paint in a spritz bottle was such a fantastic idea that now everybody does it. But I don't think anybody does it better.

Tattered Angels has one of the largest most diverse lines - there are several types! Not just shimmer and flat! but different lines to meet mixed media and DIY needs. (I will go into that in another post.) You will be hearing a lot about how much I love these paints and need MORE of them in my life over the next year.

For the Canvas Corp Brands February Color Challenge I used these colors and types-

High Impact White Metallic

High Impact Metallic Silver

Glimmer Glam Golden Goddess

Chalkboard Canary

Glimmer Mist Vintage Pink

Glimmer Mist Pearl

Glimmer Mist Key Lime Pie

Glimmer Mist Thatched Roof Cottage

Glimmer Mist Jack Frost

Plain Jane Stained Glass Aqua

Plain Jane Simply Orange

You can find them HERE in the Paint Shop.

It's a new year. Are you challenging yourself to Create Fearlessly? What would you make with a Cigar box? - Be on the look out because I plan to give these ones away - what would you put in a memory box?

Tattered Angels Mists, Card, Valentines Day, The Heart of Gratefulness

You Matter.

Whoever you are. Where ever you are. Because you are alive. You matter.

One of the core values of my personal faith is that in spite of our individual actions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings there is Someone Greater at work who declare's "You Matter."

As apart of the New 2015 Canvas Corp Brands design team I was sent this card with some beautiful Tattered Angels Glimmer Mist Sprays. My first February challenge is to make a Valentine Card and give it away to someone who doesn't expect it.

Now if you have read any of my posts since January, you know I'm all about Creating fearlessly yet I will be honest, I was quite intimidated by all the other design team examples. Canvas Corp Brands has recruited a huge team of seriously talented crafters and designers. I am blessed, excited and slightly overwhelmed at being apart if this incredible crowd. I had no idea how I could make my card pretty and yet stand out in a good way from the rest of the team.

After several tries, in the end I just had to power forward and go with my gut. I tried to think of something that would be memorable.

Valentine for A Stranger

I met the recipient for my Valentine Card during the rush hour commute home.

After a long day. And I'm starving.

This is not wise. I don't recommend it.

I do ridiculous things on an empty tummy, such as go grocery shopping and come home with a eighty dollars of snacks but not one thing I can use to make a meal for my family, unless you think M&M's and pretzels make a good dinner, then it's okay.

Or instead I stop for a supremely not-quite healthy meal paid for using all the change on the bottom of my purse, because I'm thrifty like that.

A couple of times on the drive, I've stopped at a local McDonald's. I was lured by the inexpensive three bite hamburgers and the One Dollar Diet Coke.

Okay. It's only ONE DOLLAR! What diet coke addict can resist that?

Anyway, a couple of times there has been a man in very well worn clothes that scream, "I sleep outside!" standing just at the corner of the restaurant holding a sign that says something about, "Spare change, anything helps." He is scraggly. He smells like wet pavement. He looks so sad, worn, and tired that it's hard to look him in they eye.

I don't know his story. I don't know if he is just down on his luck, has a mental problem, or dresses this way for work- I could drive away. I think I might have driven past him many times. But twice I gave him my change and I grabbed his hand and prayed for him.

Poor guy. I think I scared him. He jumped like I'd hit him with electricity. I should have asked his permission first but it is one of those times I just acted on impulse. In my head I am thinking, "My dollar in change is not going to help him. I should do something more."

Prayer is the most powerful thing I have to give him.

When this challenge came up, despite all the people I know, he was the first person I thought of. I need to find him again and give him this card. I need to get out of my car and talk to him. I want to grab his hand again and pray for him. I need to share this experience with my kids so that they can see, so they can know that this man with the hurt in his eyes - he matter's. He has value.

So- for the month of February I will have this card in my car and stopping often at the McDonald's to see if he is there - I'm not sure he will be. I'm not sure when or if I will ever see him again. I am pretty sure he isn't used to crazy ladies in Mom van's slurping giant diet Cokes who want to pray with him. But, what can being nice to this stranger hurt? This is my year of living Fearlessly, living outside the box, learning new things and meeting new people.

Can you think of a stranger who might be encouraged with a special card? Let me know in the comments if you give a card to someone who isn't expecting it - I'd love to hear about it.

Keep checking the blog this month to see what happens- I will let you know.

Now for a Contest!

Win Gift Card for Tattered Angels, Win Dapoppins, Win 50$

1. Create a Valentine board on Pinterest (if you don’t already have one)

2. Find 3-5 of your favorite Valentine cards on the Canvas Corp Brands Blog Crew Chalenge Post Here! and pin them to your Valentine board using the

hashtag #myfavoritevalentine

3. Place a link to your pinboard in the Canvas Corp Brands Post Comments.

Also In February-

The Heart of Gratitude, February, Blog Party,

February is the month of love and families are gearing up for hearts and candy. This year my friend, blogger Nancy Gaines of Domesticraft.com and I are going to change our thinking and go on a 21 day journey exploring the Heart of Gratitude in our lives and in our family's life. Join Us! There will be giveaways, art, laughter, glitter, paint and more! Keep an eye out for an Face Book event invite so you can be in on all the fun!

My Mixed Media Adventures!

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ABOUT AUTHOR

Search Dapoppins

Labels

I beg your pardon

Story Time

Happy Autumn: Sharing my Fall Foxy With You