Saturday, November 9

life change

Do you ever decide to do something new...and then want to tell everyone, "Hey, I am doing something new!"  And then you never do it?

That's me.  That is so me.

My life is a mass of unfinished, unfulfilled, incomplete New Year's resolutions.  I tell myself; "Poppins, actions speak louder than words.  Don't talk.  Do."  and then...I don't.

Well, last year, I don't know if you noticed, I bought this blog.  That is, I went all dot com.  And now I own the name.  I just felt this need.  (or maybe it was the Holy Spirit)

I think Dapoppins is a cute name.  People ask me, "What does that mean?"  Because in English all our American names have meaning, right?

 I don't really understand the question. Say that again?

Dapoppins is my name.  Back in the day of AOL when I was getting my first account I needed something to identify with and my real name was already taken. And I did not want a number attached to me.  I mean, number of the beast and all that, right?  (not serious, but sorta)  AOL had a generator, I typed in options and viola!  My new identity popped out.

And for the most part, I'm still the only one.  Google Dapoppins and it's all Dapoppins all the time...unless you get something about Popping which seems a little like twerking so, don"t go there.  Really.  Don't.

 So, I thought to own it.  I thought, I can do something with this name.  Make something of it.  I don't know...

And I didn't know.

But now I have a new idea...

Three years ago I had a plan to go to college, get my CNA licence, go to school, get a nurse licence, go to school, become a midwife.  After my first semester, when things got financially tighter at home and I realized I could in no way avoid lots of math and memorization, I became a little discouraged.  Math is HARD people.

I barely graduated high-school because I couldn't get through pre-algebra and I don't even remember how to do long division only how much I loathed it.

I still want to go to school. Becoming a midwife would not only be fulfilling, but also provide the chance, the hope of financial stability in my household.

But...the technical, seriously important part of competent midwifery...the part where I always know what the heck I am doing, that part...MATH IS HARD!

So what to do..what can I do?  What was I created to do?

That's it, really.  Am I running from what I was born to do?  Have I let so many distractions dissuade me?  I've been that golden retriever watching a tennis match...so distracted by little annoying tennis balls.

So, I've made a resolution.  Last night at 9:30 pm I set a goal.  Developed an idea.  Decided it was time.

But I'm not going to tell everything until I have done it...not going to post until you have something to see.

I am holding myself accountable to do something...to show my work, as my pre-algebra teacher would demand. And you can help me, but leaving comments, demanding an account...cheering me on.

Here we go.  Life Change here I come. 

3 comments:

Daisy said...

Good luck to you! It's not easy making changes, but you can do it if you set your mind to it. I've started and stopped a few things in my time too. I will look forward to what you have to reveal in the future. :)

Amelia Antwiler said...

When I self-published my book, It was the start of a life change. I had to do it to press through some stuff linked to my lineage. It's not perfect, there are typos in the book (Much to my chagrin) but it was a milestone.

After that moment, though, that was a beginning. I just felt like I had to change my blog name, my online identity. I don't have anything figured out in a solid form.

But I know that it was a way to move forward.

Now. You move forward. I can't wait to see you on the other side.

Mrs4444 said...

Math IS hard. What classes are required?

Good luck!!! :)

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