To clarify, I'm a mom of four. And I have been working with kids professionally since 1998. That doesn't give me much but experience and bragging rights, so there you go.
I was talking to a single mom who has one three year old boy. Her son is tall and sturdy, and I often forget he's not at least five years old. I think I've asked her multiple times when he might be starting school. He's in the state of life where he wears underwear, but needs a back up, sleeps in his own bed, can escape from the house on his own at any moment, and shouldn't be left alone with small pets or babies. He can rattle off the name to most cars and trucks, loves to wear a set of keys on his belt loop and has very definite food preferences. Typical 3 year old boy.
We were talking about gifts and the mom told me she didn't want to get him two over-loaded with gifts this year because last year he was very ungrateful and had a bad attitude. I wasn't there and didn't see the behavior but I can imagine what happened. "What is THAT? I don't want that!" and a new toy bought by a relative is tossed across the room.
I read this somewhere, but this is the truth:. At 2,3,4 years old, most young children are not brain developed enough to understand what it is to be thankful. It's a developmental acheivement. Unless you have that special child who a more sensitive nature and sensibility, then I'd expect toys to be tossed when a 2 year old receives a something he doesn't deem gift worthy.
I think there is too much pressure on parents to expect adult behavior from babies who's brains and souls are not mature enough to comprehend the situation.Too many parents are shamed to their core by predictable childhood behavior.
Also, thankfulness is a hard lesson to even teach older kids. School age kids. Teenagers. These kids didn't understand thankfulness at 2 years old and they still don't understand thankfulness. True thankfulness is a mature concept. Adults struggle with it.
A 2 year old's world revolves around himself. He is the center of his universe. He is in the beginning stages of learning cause and effect. Give the kid a break. Don't expect him to be overwhelmed by someone else's loving generosity. Most (not all) kids are just not physically capable.
So what is a conscientious mom to do? How do I teach my child thankfulness?
It is my experience that what we can do is teach POLITE behavior. In the same way you potty train and teach teeth-brushing and hand-washing. Add polite behavior to the daily tasks. Teach it until it is muscle memory and second nature. Teach your child how to behave at home when no one is looking and in groups and in public. Correct inappropriate behavior, with firm words, "Go and pick up that toy and say thank you to Aunt May." It is a case of working on the outward expression to prepare them for learning the inward expression.
And pray the attitude will follow.
What do you think?
How do you teach thankfulness?
I was talking to a single mom who has one three year old boy. Her son is tall and sturdy, and I often forget he's not at least five years old. I think I've asked her multiple times when he might be starting school. He's in the state of life where he wears underwear, but needs a back up, sleeps in his own bed, can escape from the house on his own at any moment, and shouldn't be left alone with small pets or babies. He can rattle off the name to most cars and trucks, loves to wear a set of keys on his belt loop and has very definite food preferences. Typical 3 year old boy.
We were talking about gifts and the mom told me she didn't want to get him two over-loaded with gifts this year because last year he was very ungrateful and had a bad attitude. I wasn't there and didn't see the behavior but I can imagine what happened. "What is THAT? I don't want that!" and a new toy bought by a relative is tossed across the room.
I read this somewhere, but this is the truth:. At 2,3,4 years old, most young children are not brain developed enough to understand what it is to be thankful. It's a developmental acheivement. Unless you have that special child who a more sensitive nature and sensibility, then I'd expect toys to be tossed when a 2 year old receives a something he doesn't deem gift worthy.
I think there is too much pressure on parents to expect adult behavior from babies who's brains and souls are not mature enough to comprehend the situation.Too many parents are shamed to their core by predictable childhood behavior.
Also, thankfulness is a hard lesson to even teach older kids. School age kids. Teenagers. These kids didn't understand thankfulness at 2 years old and they still don't understand thankfulness. True thankfulness is a mature concept. Adults struggle with it.
A 2 year old's world revolves around himself. He is the center of his universe. He is in the beginning stages of learning cause and effect. Give the kid a break. Don't expect him to be overwhelmed by someone else's loving generosity. Most (not all) kids are just not physically capable.
So what is a conscientious mom to do? How do I teach my child thankfulness?
It is my experience that what we can do is teach POLITE behavior. In the same way you potty train and teach teeth-brushing and hand-washing. Add polite behavior to the daily tasks. Teach it until it is muscle memory and second nature. Teach your child how to behave at home when no one is looking and in groups and in public. Correct inappropriate behavior, with firm words, "Go and pick up that toy and say thank you to Aunt May." It is a case of working on the outward expression to prepare them for learning the inward expression.
And pray the attitude will follow.
What do you think?
How do you teach thankfulness?
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1 comment:
Your theory makes sense to me. Yes, I think gratitude and politeness are learned behaviors.
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It's okay. Go ahead. Kill me with your honesty.