Sensible Observations

...from an email.

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." --Jeff Foxworthy

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." --Dave Barry

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" --Paula Poundstone

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery

"I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." --Paul Rodriguez

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" --Dave Barry

Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken. --Unknown, presumed deceased

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23 comments

  1. *snicker, snicker, chortle*

    Oh, and in case you missed my reply....I don't know where she is.....*smile* But I am sure she is around here somewhere. She keeps us guessing....*grin*

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  2. Okay, I'm going to be giggling off and on (and mostly on) all day now. Thanks!

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  3. In the case of Drew Carrey's comment, I'll see you at Miller Time. I'll buy the first round.

    Mad cow disease (LOL!!!)

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  4. I figured Jared would comment on the Drew Carey quote...typical. ;)

    Love the blog - it's beautiful. Emma did a great job. I didn't know you were a writer, but then again this is my first visit.

    I just joined a writer's group and I'm loving it. I haven't had anything critiqued yet, so no tears so far.

    It's nice to get a better glimpse of the "gold star girl"!

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  5. Hahaha!

    I have no idea why but my favorite was the one about Sea World's slow learners!

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  6. Those are wicked funny. Mad Cow Disease - *snort*!

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  7. my dog is whining at me feet for my fake mashed potatos, corn and gravy

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  8. this cracked me up. the Paula Poundstone comment made me laugh the hardest... second, because I'm in Chicago... and I have spend many minutes, in these july days, complaining about the cold...

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  9. Mad goat lady5:31 AM

    I too love that one by Drew Carey!

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  10. very refreshing..

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  11. Those are great! I need you to email me your address, so I can send your gift thingy to you. My email is familyjewels03@hotmail.com.

    Have a great day!

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  12. Ha ha! just what we need, a good laugh! Thanks for posting this. Have a great weekend!

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  13. It's good to laugh!

    Check this trailer out. (October 12..we are *so* going)

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  14. These are so funny---thanks for posting! ;)

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  15. So funny and I do thank you for sharing those with us! :) Blessings, Debra

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  16. Face Paint....
    If you bought the face paint from Walmart, you should be able to just wash it off with soap and water. I've just used wet wipes for quick clean ups. Some colors stay on the skin longer, like Red and Black - so you might test on the back of a hand before you put the paint on the face.

    I bought my paint at Hobby Lobby and i"m guessing it's the same stuff you've got. The other thing, if it's water-based paint, then you can add water to it if it goops up.

    :-)
    Have fun. Post pictures!!

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  17. I liked the burning tall man one!

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  18. BADOOZIE12:21 AM

    it's officially sunday and I'm officially the first one to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

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  19. Happy Birthday to You!!
    Happy Birthday to you!
    Happy Birthday, dear Poppins...
    HAPPY Birthday to you!!!!!

    May it be filled with many sweet things and memories that never die.

    blessings!!

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  20. Happy Birthday?

    Happy Birthday! Cluck-Cluck-Cluck

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  21. Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken. --Unknown, presumed deceased

    I could only laugh at that one after reading to whom the quote was credited. ;-)

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